Last night I taught the second of 4 workshops in Wild Woman Gypsy skirts combos for street festivals, ren fairs and drum jams. It was a lively class, filled with flying skirts and hooting women.
At the end, a beautiful young woman named Adida came over to me and began to talk in a quieter voice. She seemed a bit more intense in that moment than during the class.
She came over to tell me how much she loved the workshop.
That seems simple enough, doesn't it? It was a fun evening, I taught new things to new people. There was a lot of laughing and so much energy that if we could store it, we'd never need to buy gasoline again. So, a new dancer came over to share her enjoyment.
But there's more to it than that. Adida looked me in the eye. She settled her energy. She told me more about herself, her dance journey, and listed the details of why she enjoyed the workshop- the history, the focus on technique, the focus on creativity while maintaining dancer identity. She took the time, not just to pad my ego, but to prop me up.
To prop me up.
When women take the time and the thought this requires, and offer it freely, it becomes a part of the support system the other woman can carry with her.
And I needed it in the most awful way. I was having an extremely hard day with grief (they come on strong at times.) There was a misunderstanding in my dance group with too many voices. My baby was flying over the Atlantic ocean and I. Just. Wanted. That. Plane. To. Land.
And then Adida walked over, tempered her energy, and with an open heart, offered words to help me. All this, without ever knowing the turmoil of my day.
Perhaps, though, she sensed it. Perhaps, with our shared energy of the night, she caught something of need on the wind. I don't know.
What I do know is that her kind words of appreciation were not offered flippantly, giggly or without thought. She offered a bit more of herself for the pure sake of kindness.
And then there were my dance sisters, literally offering arms of support. I hope I give them something in return, for their shared kindness, eyes that look right into mine and gentle reminders to stay the course strengthen me each day.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Monday, February 15, 2016
Body Mind Spirit.
Body. Mind. Spirit.
We see these linked together everywhere, with promises that one thing can affect them all. Indeed, I completely believe that's possible, but I've found that, with trauma, while movement can feed all three at once, it is better to treat them separately. Here is what I discovered works for me.
The Mind-
My movement choice here is definitely yoga. I know! You'd think this would be about the body if anything, but my classes with ErinnEarth's Sivananda yoga brought a definite mental change. At the time I was able to take her class, I was teaching 6-10 dance classes each week. You'd think that would be all the movement needed to keep stress away. But after three or four classes, I found a very real sense of calm and peace.. Stress was lifted, and I hadn't even been aware of carrying it!
The key phrase here is "after three or four classes..." It's a practice for a reason. If you visit once, and find your focus on aching muscles, that's because you brought your body to class. It takes more than one visit to feel the changes a practice brings.
The Body-
Nia all the way. I cannot stress enough how doing the practice of nia brings an awareness of the body that seems strangely intimate. One would think that one's own body just being there was intimate enough, but after a few weeks, you really start to talk to your body. "Hey, Mr. ankle. Why are you touchy today?" "Oh my, you thighs have certainly strengthened! Look at how far we can plunge without pain today!"
I twist and turn and use every part of the body in every nia workout. And when I'm done, it feels like I had a true conversation with all the parts of the body, and together we jump in the shower and sing.
The Spirit-
Dance as Meditation. We have traversed the plains of the Underworld, called the fiery energy of Kali into our joints and stirred more witches cauldrons of energy than I can count. The people who are drawn to it seem to be those who can bring their honest self along. After a class, it was not uncommon to talk at great length about what we saw, felt or needed to figure out. When your whole body is expressing a simple or complex idea because words aren't enough, Spirit is nurtured.
We see these linked together everywhere, with promises that one thing can affect them all. Indeed, I completely believe that's possible, but I've found that, with trauma, while movement can feed all three at once, it is better to treat them separately. Here is what I discovered works for me.
The Mind-
My movement choice here is definitely yoga. I know! You'd think this would be about the body if anything, but my classes with ErinnEarth's Sivananda yoga brought a definite mental change. At the time I was able to take her class, I was teaching 6-10 dance classes each week. You'd think that would be all the movement needed to keep stress away. But after three or four classes, I found a very real sense of calm and peace.. Stress was lifted, and I hadn't even been aware of carrying it!
The key phrase here is "after three or four classes..." It's a practice for a reason. If you visit once, and find your focus on aching muscles, that's because you brought your body to class. It takes more than one visit to feel the changes a practice brings.
The Body-
Nia all the way. I cannot stress enough how doing the practice of nia brings an awareness of the body that seems strangely intimate. One would think that one's own body just being there was intimate enough, but after a few weeks, you really start to talk to your body. "Hey, Mr. ankle. Why are you touchy today?" "Oh my, you thighs have certainly strengthened! Look at how far we can plunge without pain today!"
I twist and turn and use every part of the body in every nia workout. And when I'm done, it feels like I had a true conversation with all the parts of the body, and together we jump in the shower and sing.
Dance as Meditation. We have traversed the plains of the Underworld, called the fiery energy of Kali into our joints and stirred more witches cauldrons of energy than I can count. The people who are drawn to it seem to be those who can bring their honest self along. After a class, it was not uncommon to talk at great length about what we saw, felt or needed to figure out. When your whole body is expressing a simple or complex idea because words aren't enough, Spirit is nurtured.
Monday, February 8, 2016
In The Smiles That Aren't My Own
Ooohh, rough night. Just... wow.
I dreamed repeatedly of my mother's last moments. I saw the arm gestures her body made as she left this life a few weeks ago recreated on my children and my husband, even as they continued to speak to me, as though they had no notice of what their limbs were doing. The message was clear. Death comes for all of us.
I didn't try to go back to sleep. I got out of bed and started the day, early, and that lethargic, heavy-limb feeling is hanging on hours later. There is zero energy to try and dance. I stretched, lightly, just to get the blood flowing- that's important on these days that begin with the nightmares. Pump the blood.
Failing at healthful movement or healthy eating, I decided to catch up on Facebook details for tonight's gypsy skirt class.
And I saw it.
Beautiful smiles. Three faces, glowing with joy at a dance event. One of my dance sisters made her profile picture a shot taken of her in the middle of Wild Woman Gypsy, where Kan'Nal encourages us all to "bring down the fire!" The picture is a piece of life- a quick, shared moment of joy, a new experience, the cumulation of artistry in musician, choreographer and dancer.
I ventured on to look for other signs of beauty, in my Facebook feed, and found them. Why? Because I have laid the foundation for the support I need by acquiring wise, humorous, caring, funny souls who fill their boards with "~Crone Wisdom~" "Here's my weaving creation!" "We are traveling AGAIN!" "My first baby bump!" and "Just look at this peaceful garden."
FILL YOUR WORLD WITH THOSE WHO WILL HELP YOU LEAD THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.
It doesn't mean you have to end things with those who don't in a cruel manner, but end them you should. This seems especially true for those of us who have had part of our heart, our souls removed by life's chaos, chance or change.
I can smile now, after what some would deem wasted time. I can now be a bit more present for those who need me, the work I have to get done and for the family I love. In the smiles of others, I reconnected with my own.
I dreamed repeatedly of my mother's last moments. I saw the arm gestures her body made as she left this life a few weeks ago recreated on my children and my husband, even as they continued to speak to me, as though they had no notice of what their limbs were doing. The message was clear. Death comes for all of us.
I didn't try to go back to sleep. I got out of bed and started the day, early, and that lethargic, heavy-limb feeling is hanging on hours later. There is zero energy to try and dance. I stretched, lightly, just to get the blood flowing- that's important on these days that begin with the nightmares. Pump the blood.
Failing at healthful movement or healthy eating, I decided to catch up on Facebook details for tonight's gypsy skirt class.
And I saw it.
Beautiful smiles. Three faces, glowing with joy at a dance event. One of my dance sisters made her profile picture a shot taken of her in the middle of Wild Woman Gypsy, where Kan'Nal encourages us all to "bring down the fire!" The picture is a piece of life- a quick, shared moment of joy, a new experience, the cumulation of artistry in musician, choreographer and dancer.
I ventured on to look for other signs of beauty, in my Facebook feed, and found them. Why? Because I have laid the foundation for the support I need by acquiring wise, humorous, caring, funny souls who fill their boards with "~Crone Wisdom~" "Here's my weaving creation!" "We are traveling AGAIN!" "My first baby bump!" and "Just look at this peaceful garden."
FILL YOUR WORLD WITH THOSE WHO WILL HELP YOU LEAD THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.
It doesn't mean you have to end things with those who don't in a cruel manner, but end them you should. This seems especially true for those of us who have had part of our heart, our souls removed by life's chaos, chance or change.
I can smile now, after what some would deem wasted time. I can now be a bit more present for those who need me, the work I have to get done and for the family I love. In the smiles of others, I reconnected with my own.
 |
| Robin's smile |
Saturday, February 6, 2016
February 6th, 2016.
Dance today is one of meetings and planning events, but, ya know what? That's okay. Gathering with my sisters and brothers who dance and drum to talk things out, mull ideas over and argue as spirited artists do is just fine. Any time we change our schedule, little neurons in the brain get fired up, and I need all the pistons blasting that I can possibly take.
Feeling a little removed today. This gathering will help.
Dance today is one of meetings and planning events, but, ya know what? That's okay. Gathering with my sisters and brothers who dance and drum to talk things out, mull ideas over and argue as spirited artists do is just fine. Any time we change our schedule, little neurons in the brain get fired up, and I need all the pistons blasting that I can possibly take.
Feeling a little removed today. This gathering will help.
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